The Midlife Crisis Crossover management regrets that tonight’s regularly scheduled Sleepy Hollow recap has been postponed until Tuesday night on account of breaking developments in the infamous town of Ferguson, MO, where the grand jury in the Michael Brown shooting, given five possible options on which to indict Officer Darren Wilson, has chosen exactly zero of those options and determined amongst themselves that the case doesn’t merit going to an actual capital-T Trial in court.

According to a lengthy statement recited on live TV by St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Bob McCulloch, the grand jury reached this decision after hearing conflicting testimonies from five dozen witnesses, three autopsies that all agreed with each other, lots of documents, folders, samples, forensic thingamabobs, and so on but I think America as a whole stopped listening to McCulloch several minutes before he finished and retreated to an undisclosed safe location from which he could monitor any unsightly damage inflicted on his Wikipedia entry.

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