Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

Our Disney Resort experience had only just begun. We’d been together all day, but wouldn’t be for long. Among the divergences in the four-day itinerary, Anne had to attend an “evening event” for employees only beginning at 5 pm at the Grand Floridian’s Convention Center. We plus-ones were cordially asked to go bug off on our own recognizance. At first I’d worried about possibly spending my solo night sulky and depressed. It’s a thing I do sometimes.

Then I remembered I was at DISNEY WORLD. I had some light exploring to do before my big, big day tomorrow.

First things first: I was starving. The snacks we’d been given while waiting an extra hour for our room hadn’t lasted me long. Disney restaurants generally, legendarily require reservations weeks or months in advance. For this particular evening I decided in advance I’d wing it. I walked over to the Grand Floridian Cafe and saw the tables were less than half-full. For decorum’s sake I logged into the official My Disney Experience Mobile App — an essential travel tool that came in constantly handy throughout our trip — and joined the waitlist. Five minutes later they were ready for me. Three cheers for off-hours on off-days.

Biggest letdown: the menu promised the lemonade would be served in a souvenir cup honoring Disney World’s 50th anniversary, which explained why it was priced more than alcohol. I’d expected something larger, showier, and not made of Dixie plastic. I left it behind.

I wandered the Grand Floridian’s Main Building, passed other restaurants, and peeked inside some of their shops. My souvenir want-list was short, but “shirt” was at the top. To my chagrin and complete lack of surprise, the only ones in my size were $120 Tommy Bahama tops in an upscale clothier — not my comfort level. For the moment I settled on a Disney World logo magnet for my cubicle collection at work. It was a start.

On the brighter side, on the second floor I found a smashed penny machine. Longtime MCC readers know these are Anne’s favorite memento. She has several books filled with li’l mutilated coinage restamped with happy fun travel images. I’d brought no change with me, for the sake of simplifying my airport security gauntlet (which worked!), but to my delight the machine took credit cards. I bought all the choices for the woman I love. For all I knew, it might just be the one and only smashed penny machine I’d see this week.

Other sights along my aimless path:

For fun and science, I decided to give the monorail a whirl. The complimentary rail service around the lagoon ran a full circle through the Grand Floridian, the Magic Kingdom, the Contemporary, the Transportation Hub (site of the Magic Kingdom’s parking lot and a transfer point to other monorails), and Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort. Some reconnaissance for the next two days’ travels seemed wise and maybe I’d see cool stuff gratis. The Grand Floridian’s station was attached to the Main Building’s second floor and included a minor security checkpoint. I barely registered on their radar as they waved me past.

A full lap took slightly over ten minutes. Back at the Grand Floridian, I wandered a bit more as nightfall continued and I worried not one bit about safety. I took it on faith they had people for that. I found the pier where guests could take boats to the Magic Kingdom and back again, but it was closed. I settled for taking the lead photo and went on my way before alligators or snakes could pin down my location.

The Cadillac had absolutely no signage around it for context, which I had to look up ex post facto. Once upon a time it was part of the finale in the Stars and Cars Motor Parade at Disney Hollywood Studios, where it chauffeured park “cast members” in their larger-than-life Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy suits. The car, or ones like it, was also available for rental in Disney destination weddings. As of this night it was merely a display item.

Meanwhile, on the clock: after a couple hours of introductions and classified Company Business for business-trip purposes, Anne and her fellow winning employees were treated to a beach dinner party, complete with sand everywhere. Business dinners are never a thing for us, but she was fed on their dime and felt obliged to stick it out for the duration.

(Not pictured: Hors d’oeuvres round 3, a “truffle scented tenderloin”.)

(Longtime MCC readers may recall this isn’t Anne’s first time in caricature.)

Not till sometime after 9:30 pm was she informed that, other than dinner itself, absolutely everything about this evening was optional and she could’ve left anytime. Once aware, she split. Even then, the evening wasn’t over.

To be continued!

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