This merchandise display is the perfect illustration for my new sitcom idea, Pink Nightmare Family. Two sons and two daughters are forced to fend for themselves after they’re abandoned by their intolerant parents, who don’t understand why their kids insist on living every moment of their lives inside four matching pink bunny suits. They never notice the strange stares from everyone around them. To pay the bills, they open a novelty lamp shop. They never take the suits off, but they never smell disgusting because of TV magic. All the plots will be recycled from every other sitcom ever, but with bunny suits, which will hopefully become the Next Big Thing. I, for one, think the world is ready for a cross between Party of Five and Full House, plus bunny suits, minus Dave Coulier’s Bullwinkle impressions.
Blame this ill-fated sitcom pitch on Cleveland, where we stopped today at the A Christmas Story Museum and House. Many of you are familiar with the modern Christmastime movie classic — beloved in some households, but persona non grata in other households driven mad by the annual TBS 24-hour marathons. Among the numerous pop-culture landmarks located in Cleveland is the original house whose design was chosen for the model of little Ralphie’s home. Though most of the movie was filmed in Ontario, a few key scenes were shot at the Cleveland home itself, which is now restored to exacting movie specs and open for public tours all year long, not just in December.
The House and Museum are equipped with a gift shop packed with A Christmas Story merchandise — related DVDs, leg lamps, ACS action figures, board games, shirts, Lifebuoy soap, Red Ryder memorabilia…and yes, pink bunny suits apparently for the whole family. For some reason. I didn’t check to see if my size was in stock. If they do become the Next Big Thing and runway models find a way to make them work, you’ll pardon me if I remain unhip and buck that trend.