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Undeserving Husband Celebrates Underserved Wife’s Birthday with Underwhelming Haiku

Midlife Crisis Crossover

2011 file photo. Author not responsible for the photo editing.

[Based on the wealth of evidence I provide here each week, one could mount a convincing argument that I dwell too much on entertainment media and not nearly enough on What Really Matters. During some extra-logorrheic weeks, one might also wonder if I’m psychologically blocked from clicking the “Publish” button until I’ve clambered past the 1,000-word mark every time. For such doubters, I offer six words of temporary relief:

And now for something completely different.

In honor of my wife’s birthday, I present high art. Wait, no, scratch that — just haiku. And not the great kind with birds or flowers or natural waterways. Sorry.]


Milady’s birthday
Her true age, a shared secret
Looks timeless to me

Married eight years now
Known each other twenty-five
Still she endures me

Kindness, sweetness, joy
Memory, patience, temper
She beats me in all

Each day is a gift
So glad she never asks me
“Where’s the gift receipt?”

Time together paused
Birthday fell on a work day
Stupid calendar

Our big weekend plan:
Crown Hill Cemetery tour
Birthday with the dead

Happy birthday, dear
The weekend shall soon be ours
Time enough at last!

P.S.: I love you
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Did I mention love?

[Ma’am, I hope you appreciate the effort. This was HARD. My hat’s off to those sincere poets who can conjure visions of lush fields, verdant forests, and evocative affirmations with just a few well-chosen keystrokes.]

[Special thanks to the WordPress Daily Post for inspiration.]

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4 responses

  1. I enjoyed this post, especially the haiku about “where’s the gift receipt” – a good point, and a poetic way to say it. I know what you mean about birthdays falling during the work week – My husband and I are a day apart in early August and his job as a football videographer means we celebrate in July….this year he worked all day on both our birthdays, so I can realate to “time together paused”. Thanks for sharing this!

    Like

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