Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work. Not ME, baby…

After my one-man tour through the Grand Floridian grounds and around the Disney Resorts’ monorail track, I had three reasons for an early retreat to our room: (1) exhaustion from the long day; (2) I’d run out of things to do around the grounds and barhopping isn’t my thing; (3) I was curious whether we could watch fireworks from the convenience of our luxurious view across Seven Seas Lagoon.

Every Disney theme park has an evening fireworks show with its own name and arrangements. At 8:15 p.m. came “Happily Ever After”, the Magic Kingdom’s version. Guests inside the park are treated to an extravaganza of lasers, projections, music, and other special effects. Several blocks outside the park boundaries, looky-loos get only the fireworks. That was my experience as well as Anne’s from her business beach party even farther down the shore. I couldn’t make out any holographic accompaniments, only faint beams flickering against the popped smoke on the horizon.

For fun I ran my phone camera through the paces to capture a fraction of a fraction of the experience from my lagoon balcony seat. I didn’t take any video because I never take any video of anything ever. They’re just fireworks. Granted, they’re Disney World fireworks, which is obviously why I’m posting them at all.

After eighteen minutes of festivities I adjourned inside to relax and wait for Anne to return from the party. Neither of us had any idea how long she’d be.

…

I managed four whole minutes of solitude before being jolted by some proud announcer dude broadcasting from a colossal, Metallica-volume MIDI boombox outside. That was my introduction to the Electrical Water Parade, another Disney World tradition no one had warned us about in advance. Each night a cute armada floats single-file up and down the lagoon and performs a non-fireworks light show for resort guests and lingering park crowds after closing time. The boats are each rigged to display happy fun Lite Brite creatures and shapes, accompanied by cranked-up tunes more familiar to parents than to kids. “Under the Sea” shares a mixtape with oldies like “Walk the Dinosaur”, “You’re a Grand Old Flag”, and other patriotic Muzak.

“WE HOPE YOUR DREAMS ARE BRIGHTER TO FIND IN THE LIGHT OF A NEW DAY!” thundered Cap’n Lightshow’s Marshall stacks as a nighty-night farewell from his unlit tugboat before he and the Disney Navy chugged off into the sleepy black yonder. As it happens, they perform the Pageant multiple times per night around the lagoon. They next headed south towards Anne’s business shindig for a replay, where she took a few pics when the boats weren’t turned facing away from her.

In the moment, it was all an adorable, if unexpected and rattling, part of the full Disney World experience. Reexamined out of context, I kinda get why some people thought Triangle of Sadness was a good and necessary commentary.

Eventually Anne escaped the party the exact minute she realized the compulsory part had ended hours earlier. We were both asleep by 11 p.m. despite all our nerves standing on edge about the next morning’s major events. One of us would end up having a lot more fun than the other. And yes, seven chapters in, it’ll at long last involve stepping foot inside an actual Disney World Theme Park™, not merely gallivanting around Disney Properties.

To be continued!

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