It’s Kermit o’clock somewhere!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Each year Anne and I take one (1) road trip to a different part of the United States and see attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home. One thing we rarely do is fly. We’d much rather drive than be flown unless we absolutely have to…or are given some pretty sweet incentives to do so. Fast-forward to December 2022 and a most unexpected opportunity: The Powers That Be at Anne’s rather large place of employment recognized her and several other employees nationwide for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. Their grand prize was a Disney World vacation! We could at last announce to friends and family, “THE GOLDENS ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

For Anne it was officially, legally a business trip. Much of the time, she’d have to work…

…except for a single day off, when we ran straight to Disney’s Hollywood Studios and went crazy Broadway-style. Several blocks’ worth of Star Wars bazaar and flight simulators had taken our breath away, and the Toy Story section had turned Andy’s bedroom floor into a veritable sculpture garden, but deep down in the geeky grade-schooler in me, all of them take a back seat to the Muppets, who were first to plant their freak-flag in his heart

When I was 11 and got my first tape recorder and black cassettes, I started recording episodes of The Muppet Show because VCRs weren’t yet a commonplace appliance. I started with the Gene Kelly episode (and its terrific “Singin’ in the Rain” running gag) and racked up a couple dozen more before I got tired of that and turned my pretend-DJ attention to Top-40 radio instead. The Muppets have dwelt in my mental hall-of-fame ever since, even if I haven’t necessarily consumed every Muppets production ever. But we Gen-Xers obviously had to include the Muppets experience on our itinerary, northeast of Galaxy’s Edge in a block called Grand Avenue.

Ms. Liberty, played by Miss Piggy, welcomes you to Grand Avenue!

If you liked Remy’s French cuisine in Ratatouille, maybe you’ll love the idea of Rizzo the Rat baking pizza!

Same as with the Toy Story area, their restrooms are expensively beyond apt.

A bit of an upgrade from the old Muppet Theater.

Grand Avenue’s main attraction was Muppet*Vision 3D, a multimedia presentation (est. 1991) that was one of Jim Henson’s last personal projects before he passed away in 1990 unfairly at age 53. The 17-minute theatrical mini-extravaganza combines a short film, animatronics, live performers, and other “4-D” tactile elements in and around the seats. Our line led first into a lobby with two TVs suspended high up, each with different characters and happenings on them — perfectly synchronized for feigned interaction with each other, their repartee bouncing from one screen to the other and back again. We were each given 3-D glasses and eventually allowed to file into seats, whereupon more merriment ensued.

No, you do not have to be taller than Sweetums to ride.

Muppet*Vision 3-D is of course ostensibly the invention of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Also, there is Beaker.

Lobby decor includes a fraction of Miss Piggy’s total luggage.

The pre-show TV warm-up costars Rizzo wearing the cheapest possible Mickey Mouse costume.

Statler and Waldorf are in the theater and can’t help heckling. They’re like demigods to today’s internet troll population.

…and no, I won’t summarize the show. That’s already been done online. I just really wanted a separate chapter to relive the characters, the details, and that fuzzy interior feeling of my closely guarded nostalgia neurons being warmed up around old friends. Suffice it to say if you’ve ever loved anything Muppet-based, you’d love this.

I could take or leave the glasses. I look like John Goodman doing a cameo in Muppet Bikeriders.

To be continued!

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