How Not to Respond to Aurora: a Plainspoken Primer for Pundit Pretenders

I’m not sure how healthy or productive it would be for me to dwell on current events for too extended a time frame. Last night’s writing jag became one of my most uncomfortable sessions in years, so I’m still trying to get my head back in the right space, or at least within the same area code as said space. It absolutely does not involve any cessation of prayers, but it does involve a bit of disengagement from the single-subject “news” stream and minimizing my additional reading, which has been winnowed down to links passed along by well-meaning online friends.

I realize that reading and writing about the subject must go on for others, whether it’s the quixotic quest for understanding the incomprehensible or the hypnotic allure of a true-crime drama destined someday to be reenacted awkwardly on numerous low-budget basic-cable true-crime shows. All I ask is that such commentators show a modicum of decorum, restraint, and best judgment. (I can dream.)

The following would be examples of opening lines and excerpts from articles and opinion pieces I do not want to see, that should neither exist nor have readers:

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