Love, exciting and new! Come aboard — we’re expecting you!
Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:
Every year from 1999 to 2015 my wife Anne and I took a road trip to a different part of the United States and visited attractions, wonders, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. With my son’s senior year in college imminent and next summer likely to be one of major upheaval for him (Lord willing), the summer of 2016 seemed like a good time to get the old trio back together again for one last family vacation before he heads off into adulthood and forgets we’re still here. In honor of one of our all-time favorite vacations to date, we scheduled our long-awaited return to New York City…
We saw our first battleship on our 2008 road trip to Virginia Beach, which included a side stop in Norfolk to tour the USS Wisconsin. That story hasn’t yet been represented here on Midlife Crisis Crossover, but the short version is that it was huge, our veteran tour guide was a nice gentleman, the day was sweltering, and we hardly got to see inside. Our 2015 road trip through Alabama to New Orleans allowed for a digression in Mobile, home of the USS Alabama, which allowed us access to more areas of the ship while offering zero protection from the South’s summer heat. Frankly I have no idea how our soldiers can stand to serve on these things without roasting to medium well within minutes, but God bless ’em all for being better, sturdier people than me.
When most folks think of New York City, “battleship” isn’t usually among the first 500 words that come to mind. For us that changed when we learned the eastern shore of the Hudson River is the home of the USS Intrepid, docked on the western border of Hell’s Kitchen, several blocks from our hotel. It was convenient, it was showy, and it had a few special exhibits that dovetailed with our geek interests. So that’s why it was our first attraction on the morning of Day Four, and why this entry was nearly titled “Battleship III”.
But first, breakfast for my son. Anne and I had already eaten, but my son had slept in as usual and rejected our choices. The quest was frustrating at first — the fried-food court that saved us the other day was in the opposite direction from the Hudson, and we found nary an establishment open for breakfast along our westward walk. Thankfully we found a lone hot dog vendor open for business hours before lunchtime, cart stocked with Nathan’s a-plenty. The morning was saved thanks to a noble, entrepreneurial immigrant with no use for America’s stifling breakfast customs.
Seating areas near the assorted water-tourism businesses afford an inspiring view of Hell’s Kitchen gentrification at its tallest.
Some light data: this aircraft carrier’s wartime service extends from the 1943 Pacific theater till it was decommissioned in 1974 after its Vietnam tour of duty, with stops along the years to retrieve manned capsules from two different U.S. space missions. 872 feet long; weighing over 27,000 tons not counting contents; needed 2,600 sailors to staff it; four-inch-thick bulkheads, three decks, eight boilers, and sixty-two guns of varying calibers. Since 1982 it’s lived a second career as the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum.
The last thing some enemy combatants saw.
About that banner on the front: the Starfleet Academy Experience was a new premium interactive simulation exhibit that had just opened the day before we arrived in Manhattan. We skipped that because we presumed the line would be long, we weren’t interested in the premium upcharge, and we guessed that it was meant more for younger visitors. We may have been wrong, but mostly it was the money reason. We needed the funds for a different sort of extravagance planned for the end of our day.
While sorting our photos, I nearly forgot that the visitor elevator to the upper decks wasn’t actually part of the ship. It blended in well.
The Intrepid‘s upper deck could hold upwards of 90-100 aircraft while in service. The museum’s constructs and exhibits now take up quite a bit of that square footage, but a few design features remain in place.
Your standard conning tower, radar array, and whatnot.
One of its 5-inch/38-caliber anti-aircraft guns, pointed at Manhattan to keep its neighbors from getting any funny ideas.
Inside the hangar deck are your typical museum displays — artifacts, placards, history lessons, and so on. Aircraft stand both there and on the upper deck, along with a host of other relevant items.
The ball turret from a Grumman Avenger may remind you of some of your favorite movie aircraft and spacecraft.
Access to the twistier passages is limited, but a few are kept visible for reference.
Sure, a pilot trying to land on a carrier could depend on a guy with semaphore flags or glow sticks to guide him in safely. Or you could get yourself the Mk 10 Mod 0 Optical Landing System, which is less likely to complain about the weather.
The Mk 10 Mod 0 Optical Landing System also comes with this cool funhouse mirror. Order yours today!
Why are there battleships? History offers clues in its headlines.
One exhibit spotlights the museum’s founders, philanthropists Zachary and Elizabeth Fisher!. He was a real estate developer kept out of WWII by a leg injury; she served in the USO entertaining the troops overseas as a performer in the Ziegfeld Follies. Together they spearheaded the efforts that saved the Intrepid from the scrap heap.
The greatest exhibit in the hangar deck by our unanimous vote wasn’t a historical relic, a vintage aircraft, a lit-up display, or a weapon.
Behold the majesty of the Lego Intrepid.
It’s an open smile on a friendly shore!
Some light data: 22 feet long; 250,000 pieces; 550 pounds; better than any of the mismatched cars, dilapidated houses, and poorly conceived spacecraft we built from Lego when we were kids.
Lego Intrepid, far from being decommissioned, remains on active duty to serve and preserve the Lego world in the face of conflict or evil, such as those sad Mega Bloks jerks.
Lego Intrepid wasn’t our only reason for coming. We didn’t even know it was there. If you’re in the area sometime and planning a visit, it’s a great selling point for your small children and other Lego fans.
Lego Squadron ready for takeoff at a moment’s notice.
(Master planner Ed Diment has a vast Flickr account with more creations like this on display for us all to envy.)
Suddenly naval history is cooler than ever.
To be continued!
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[Link enclosed here to handy checklist for previous and future chapters, and for our complete road trip history to date. Follow us on Facebook or via email signup for new-entry alerts, or over on Twitter if you want to track my TV live-tweeting and other signs of life between entries. Thanks for reading!]
Midlife Crisis Crossover! 
We’ve always given these carrier exhibits a miss. Now we know what we missed! Thanks for the sharing
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Our pleasure. Carriers aren’t even something we go out of our way to track down. They just keep meeting us where we happen to be!
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LOL. But this is great. Because now we know we can truly enjoy a visit.
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